Home News What job will they enact subsequent? Crikey’s files to lifestyles after politics for a pair of of our most-cherished MPs

What job will they enact subsequent? Crikey’s files to lifestyles after politics for a pair of of our most-cherished MPs

by Good News

Will Penny Wong host the ABC’s Tough Quiz? Will Bridget McKenzie turn into an elite member of the SAS?

(Photos: AAP)

Reckoning on the result on Would possibly perhaps 21, many of the critical avid gamers in our body politic is also transferring on to new stages of their lives. Crikey satirist Tom Red spent the week with transition-whisperers, faculty careers counsellors and carnival psychics to sigh a witness at and show what the future could perhaps well retain for our betters.

Scott Morrison

Would be: Jim’s Mowing franchisee

Must composed be: The Surprise Spruiker

Will be: Whitehaven government

Anthony Albanese

Would be: Wednesday-night DJ on the Gasoline Pony bar in Marrickville

Must composed be: Stand-in for Reggie the Rabbit, South Sydney’s crew mascot

Will be: John Holland infrastructure lobbyist, specializing in VFT initiatives

Penny Wong

Would be: Secretary-basic of the United Countries

Must composed be: The new host of the ABC’s Tough Quiz

Will be: A disquietingly forensic addition to the P&C Association at her teenagers’ faculty

Dave Sharma

Would be: Original host of Amazon Top’s Luxe Listings: Sydney

Must composed be: Working with Oxfam Australia on food security programs in Timor-Leste

Will be: A day trader with a chip on his shoulder

Bridget McKenzie

Would be: An elite member of the SAS

Must composed be: A minimal-wage cleaner, responsible for the sanitation and maintenance of all pre-1990 sports alternate rooms in non-marginal seats

Will be: Inaugural CEO of the Australian branch of the Nationwide Rifle Association

Richard Marles

Would be: A trendy seek files from in future editions of Trivial Pursuit

Must composed be: An everyday participant of police identification parades. Correct having Marles there makes the other suspects extra memorable

Will be: The unflappable Bert to Christopher Pyne’s flamboyant Ernie in the inevitable reboot of the Pyne & Marles point out on Sky.

Michaelia Money

Would be: CEO of Squawky Talky, a web based provider of area of interest and novelty voices for Sat Nav systems

Must composed be: The host of most up-to-date SBS cooking point out The World of Indian Meals

Will be: Mistaken for Julie Bishop for the rest of her days

Bill Shorten

Would be: Tag ambassador for “Sideways Sausage Day”

Must composed be: Australia’s most racy-identified ASMR celeb

Will be: CEO of the Zinger Institute — a no longer-for-profit dedicated to preserving promising careers from the scourge of lame puns, non-sequiturs and unhappy deliveries

Peter Dutton

Would be: An Easter Island statue

Must composed be: Returned to the icy barren region of Tuber Hoth where his 12 blood-husbands await his triumphant return

Will be: A favored appeal in a Beijing petting zoo

Clive Palmer

Would be: A neatly-cherished philanthropist

Must composed be: A constitutional authorized educated primarily based mostly in Fremantle

Will be: The patron saint of cash-starved mainstream media organisations and purveyors of Pantone Medium Yellow C

About the AuthorTom Red

Satirist

Earlier than joining the Crikey crew, Tom Red plied his alternate across the union jog. Having failed entirely to curb the militia-industrial complicated, he now rights wrongs by photoshopping politicians’ heads onto celebrities’ our bodies.

Related Articles